Compassion, flexibility needed My parents are ready to enter a long-term care facility. They are Ruth and Bob Holmes, aged 82 and 87, with her being in her fifth year with Alzheimer's and him frail with some dementia, a walker, a little prostate cancer and incontinence. She is considered to have "light" care needs and he is designated "medium". This couple has been married for 58 years, and before that they were childhood friends, as Bob's younger sister was Ruth's best friend growing up. Their families met when she was two and he was seven. In the upcoming move to the long-term care facility, Ruth and Bob are dealing with the loss of their apartment, their furniture, their friends and church community, their doctor, dentist and what remains of their independence: what they are not prepared to deal with is the additional trauma of going through a separation from each other in the process. Yet this is what our government and the Community Care Access Centres routinely do to these elderly couples. The way they and the long-term care facilities explain it is that it is next to impossible for the couple to be admitted together, because beds come available one at a time. People tend to die one at a time in long-term care, and so a room with basic accommodation for two just doesn't come up. I appreciate that waiting for the next bed and moving existing residents to free up a couple room takes time, but doesn't every type of accommodation that exists have a vacancy rate? This is a normal part of doing business in the real world. And the cost to the taxpayer to avoid splitting up couples would not be excessive considering that couples make up only 1% of the population entering long-term care facilities. The facility where my parents are headed estimated that the waiting time for the second parent would be about two weeks. It can be anything from a few days to three weeks. I'm sure every child of a couple entering a home feels as I do that this policy is abusive and outrageous. I don't know why or how they can accept it, except that bureaucracy has its own insidious way of stifling protest. Health at any age is affected by one's psychological state: health in elderly people is even more strongly affected by their feelings. I have seen my mother's condition take a big step down from the anxiety of her last move to the retirement community, and she has always had fears that she might have to be "put away". Her husband is the only stable thing in her confusing world. How can she be made to go into a Home without him? Likewise, my father would be lost and depressed without her. An introvert, he has always depended on her for his social life and he needs her constant "attention", no matter how purposeless it is. To them it has a purpose, and that is the love and affection they share. I feel strongly that this issue is one of human rights in health care, and that this punitive policy on the part of the Community Care Access Centres must be corrected. It shows the utmost disrespect for the elderly, and for the bonds of marriage, that couples should have to endure the trauma of separation from each other just to get into a long-term care facility. Remember, this is the way the government manages the planned, non-emergency entrance of the elderly into a nursing home. There are lots of tragic stories about admissions to long-term care facilities in emergency situations, such as when one person is hospitalized and has to go immediately, but the government is unnecessarily adding stress and trauma in every couple admission even when there is no emergency. The CCAC puts out information sheets on helping families adjust to the transition of moving to a long-term care facility. How hypocritical of them, when in the case of couples they are adding so much to the burden of that trauma themselves. When I told my daughter of the way the system works, she exclaimed, "What?! A person could die because of that! Could I please work with you to put an end to this oppressive policy? Whatever happens with my parents, I feel strongly that it is worth the effort to save future couples from facing such an unnecessary and painful separation. I look forward to your response. Thank you. |